


Badly Described Works of Cinematic Fiction

by AltUniverseWash



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cultural Differences, Earth C (Homestuck), Friendship, Gen, Hanging Out, June Egbert - Freeform, Movie Night, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, movies - Freeform, platonic June Egbert/Kanaya Maryam, platonic JuneNaya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:01:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24591226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AltUniverseWash/pseuds/AltUniverseWash
Summary: On the advice of Rose, Kanaya spends a night watching a movie with June in order to become better friends with her. But Kanaya promptly falls asleep during the beginning of the movie! What will she do?!
Relationships: June Egbert & Kanaya Maryam
Kudos: 25





	Badly Described Works of Cinematic Fiction

“...were you even paying attention?” June Egbert’s voice drifted in on the edges of the world – into the realm of conscious awareness. This fact was processed in a singular moment, and Kanaya Maryam realized that she had, in fact, been asleep. 

“I was indeed paying attention to this Earth movie that we were watching,” she smiled, a single fang poking below her quirked mouth. “A movie I absolutely remember the title and principle actor of!”

She could feel the suspicious gaze on her. “Why’d you agree to watch the movie – the movie whose name you definitely know – with me?”

“Rose suggested that perhaps I did not have a sufficient number of _friends._ Her specific observation was that while I have a great deal of acquaintances, I lack very many people that I am truly close to outside of herself.”

“So you wanted to watch a movie with me to be my friend?” June grinned, her eyes squinting shut as she beamed at Kanaya. “That’s one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard!”

Kanaya imagined that perhaps June’s life had not been filled with an abundance of sweetness if that met her standard for “one of the sweetest” but she refrained from saying it out loud. Instead, she simply smiled and replied “Thank you, June.”

June’s face turned serious. “But I still don’t think you were paying attention. In fact I think that you–” June paused and Kanaya imagined that this was for dramatic effect, but June’s particular brand of humor was sometimes lost on her “– fell asleep!” June raised an accusatory finger.

“Such a suggestion is patently absurd, June.” Kanaya nodded. “I do not even know why you would suggest such a strange idea. Perhaps you are not feeling well?”

June winked at her – an expression she found oddly charming in spite of, or perhaps _because of_ , its silliness. “I’m fine as sunshine, Kan-kan!”

This was too much! Kanaya wasn’t used to the human concept of shortening the name in various fashions – often in ways that were silly-verging-on-absurd. In truth, it had a kind of intimacy to it that made her feel uncomfortable. Because in spite of her protestations to the contrary, Rose had a point – she didn’t really have any friends. It was hard for her – hard to feel like she could open up to people. Even here on Earth-C… even here, after the end of everything, she still felt guarded.

“Very well. Then the matter is settled. I was definitely watching your movie.”

“What did you think of the part where they swapped the bunny’s face with the other bunny?”

Kanaya blinked – that didn’t _sound_ right. But she’d been telling a bit of a white lie – she had, in fact, been sleeping. She wasn’t sure when she’d drifted off, but she awoke to find herself propped up against June’s shoulder and June was asking her if she was paying attention. Between the beginning part where the odd-looking man with the nose was fighting in the rain and the credits rolling… all of that was a haze of dialogue half-heard through the clouded glass of sleep.

She did not, however, want to hurt June’s feelings. This was, according to Rose, one of June's favorite movies. Rose had informed her that despite the movie’s “cheesiness,” June still enjoyed it immensely. Kanaya had wondered what a movie’s tangential relationship to curdled dairy products had to do with anything, but she’d decided it wasn’t an important detail to focus on.

June was looking at her as if she expected an answer.

“I… I thought that was very interesting. But I don’t understand why it was necessary in the first place. Would the rabbit not have been perfectly satisfied with its own face?”

“Oh! That’s the best part! You see, one of the rabbits was a _terrorist_ who was trying to steal the Declaration of Independence!”

Kanaya shook her head – this wasn’t making sense! She didn’t remember anything about a rabbit in the movie! Then again…

“I apologize, but I do not know what a Declaration of Independence is. I mean, I do know what those words all mean, but it seems that there is a specific meaning to it that I do not understand from context.”

“Oh, that’s easy,” June shrugged. “It was a long thing that some old white men wrote on the old Earth so they could feel better about owning slaves.”

“I see. And why would anyone want to steal something like that?”

June nodded along, smiling. Kanaya had the feeling that she was maybe not being entirely truthful about the plot of this movie. “I think that was pretty clear from the movie, right? So the terrorists wanted it because it was secretly a treasure map to the treasure of Alcatraz! Really, Kanaya – it was all pretty obvious!”

That did sound at least a little bit familiar. Or maybe June had been describing the plot of a different movie she liked? It was hard to keep everything straight. As much as she honestly enjoyed June’s company, it was hard to invest herself in some of the things the woman loved. Just like Terezi and the FLARP club she’d started – while it made Kanaya feel good to see the people she cared about enjoying themselves, sometimes the idea of finding enjoyment in those same pursuits was somewhat elusive.

“I think I do recall that now, June. Yes, I am most certainly recalling these facts. There was an old, racist man who helped the younger, also-racist man? Am I remembering the plot correctly? Your human movies are sometimes hard for me to follow.” Which was completely nonsense, but Kanaya felt the overwhelming need to spare June’s feelings. 

“You sure are!” June grinned broadly and Kanaya wasn’t sure what to make of it. “That was Sean Connery, by the way – the old racist, I mean. He played a spy who really hated women in a bunch of movies. People loved him for it.”

“I do not understand human fiction at all, sometimes.” She wasn’t employing human sarcasm – Kanaya genuinely felt confused. The Alternian tradition had been to employ actors who were under threat of culling to provide the best, most convincing performances possible. Anything that came out poorly was promptly destroyed as subversive and the cast and crew were all summarily culled. She had a hard time understanding June’s ability to enjoy basically whatever media she sat down to watch. It was as if the woman could simply find _something_ worthwhile in everything she saw. 

“What did you think of the sub-plot, by the way?”

“Sub… plot?”

“Yeah! The part where there are these two friends and one of them doesn’t want to hurt the other friend’s feelings so she keeps making up a bunch of crap to seem like she knows what the first friend is talking about.”

Kanaya felt her face flush a deep jade that she _knew_ June would notice. She fidgeted uncomfortably on the couch, shifting away from June almost instinctively. “I… do not believe I recall that specific aspect of the plot, if I am being honest.”

There was a hand on her knee – soft and gentle. June was smiling at her. “I know you fell asleep, Kanaya. You were leaning against me the whole time… and you snore. Like, a lot.”

Her face burned and she wanted to look away. “I am sorry, June. I did not mean to fall asleep so close to the beginning of your movie. Rose told me that the Conned Air was one of your favorite movies as a teenager and I wanted very much to show that I value spending time with you as a friend! I was perhaps too comfortable next to you on the couch… I am sorry!”

Her knee was squeezed lightly and June was still smiling. “It’s fine! I didn’t care about the movie anyway.”

“Why not? Is it not one of your favorites?” She could feel her own brows knitting up in confusion. “Did you not end up losing out in this particular exchange by my not having stayed up to enjoy it with you?”

“Is that how you think I feel?” June’s voice sounded… hurt. Kanaya felt her stomach lurch and she wanted to wrap June in a hug and tell her that no, it wasn’t like that – it was fine. She was just so used to how things had been on Alternia – that so many people had used her in so many different ways, and she’d become cynical and guarded. That she just shut everyone down because it was easier than trying to sort through who was genuine and who wasn’t – better to keep everyone at arm’s length. 

She could feel hot tears rolling down her cheeks. “No… June… I…”

“Oh no… Kanaya…” And Kanaya felt _her_ shoulders being wrapped in a hug. “It’s not… I’m sorry – Rose talked a little bit about how it used to be for you. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It is perhaps,” Kanaya murmured into June’s arm, “something of a cultural misunderstanding.”

“Yeah, let’s call it that. You’re my friend, Kanaya. I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings. I don’t care if you fell asleep during the movie. It’s not a big deal… I still got to spend time with you. If you felt comfortable enough to fall asleep leaning against me, I figure that’s gotta mean something, right?” She sounded happy. Kanaya smiled. 

“Yes. I believe that I find this conclusion to be acceptable as well. I also would like to think of you as my friend.”

For a while, neither of them said anything. Kanaya leaned into June’s hug – into the softness and warmth of her friend’s arms.

“June?”

“Yes, Kanaya?”

Kanaya paused. “The things you described in the movie – the faces and terrorist rabbits stealing the Declaration of Slavery with the help of an old racist and all that. Was any of that actually in the movie?”

June laughed – a sound that came from deep inside of her chest and echoed out, clear and honest. “Sorry – I made all of that up.”

“Oh. It all sounded rather fun in a way that is both absurd and terrible and I must admit to no small degree of disappointment that it is not real.”

“Me too, Kanaya. Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Dear Reader, thank you so much for reading my work! If you enjoyed yourself, please leave kudos or a comment below! I will attempt to respond to comments if possible!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter [@AltUniverseWash](https://www.twitter.com/AltUniverseWash)


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